Just before Christmas my father got a call from Holland America Cruise lines asking him to be the Protestant minister on their 114 day cruise around the world. Every cruise over 9 days long has on board a Protestant minister, a Catholic Priest and a Rabbi. Did you know that someone dies on a cruise ship every week? All ships have full morgues in them. I guess this makes sense since most cruisers are of the silver haired variety. God's floating waiting room.
Dad had done this before back in October for a 15 day Hawaii trip. My mom gets to come along too. It's a contract job, so room and board is free and they get to be free escorts on shore excursions as well.
Frankly I think 4 months at sea with the same 1,500 people is not my bag at all but today, with the wind chill at 9 below, I wouldn't mind being in Bora Bora right now, which is where they are. I've been tracking their ship on a website out of the Univ. of Minnesota that uses ship log information from the National Oceanographic Association. So far so good.
I get email updates from them every Friday, which I wait for with baited breath - apparently a LOT of people have problems and my dad gets to hear about every one of them. Small price to pay for a free $30,000 cruise.
My fascination with Ms. Dita Von Teese grows daily. She's been recently flitting about Paris for their fashion week in some of the most beautiful clothing I have ever seen. As a "style icon" she makes supposed "style icon" Posh Spice Beckham look like a muppet. Which isn't all that hard, but still. Dita's body looks natural (if she's had plastic surgery she hides it well), she doesn't fake tan so her skin looks normal (even if washed out in the flash of a camera), her hair is a bit dark and the makeup, although flawless, is a bit thick, but that's all part of the 1940s thing so we'll forgive that.
I don't think she has a professional stylist, I could be wrong, but I think these are dresses that she has chosen to wear. How do you get THAT good at picking out an article of clothing that is:
a. perfectly figure flattering?
b. stunningly designed and constructed in its own right?
c. vintage-esque without looking even slightly silly?
d. age appropriate and yet perfectly demure and STILL sexy?
Frankly, she can do no wrong. She was chosen to be the spokes model for Wonderbra and will be designing a full line of vintage inspired under-pinnings. I can hardly wait...
Behold the perfection (p.s. the writing on the photos is that of Perez Hilton, the famous Hollywood blogger who justifies stealing other photo agency's images by "changing" them with photoshop - it's a long court battle story):
Here is Dita at the Elie Saab show:
And here she is at Dior:
And here she is on her birthday. Amazing. I'm speechless.
Let's compare shall we?
Here is Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. I rest my case.
If you are a person who insists that "Esq." be placed after your name in any printed material, either personal or business related, you are a douche bag beyond rehabilitation.
You need to be taken out back behind a building somewhere, blindfolded, given a cigarette and a beer, asked if you have any last words, and then shot quickly and mercifully in the back of your head.
No Exceptions. The End.
I just don't feel like going to the gym tonight even though I swore I'd make a real effort after the Holidays to go 3 times a week. I now go 2 times a week fairly regularly but with school and work it's hard to do more. Does anyone have any motivating advice for me? My upcoming trip to Las Vegas has been motivating me somewhat but I need a push over the hump.
I'm sorry that I've been away for so long, I was visiting family for Christmas and then New Years quickly came and went, you know how it is.
While I was waiting for the holidays this year I got a Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue in the mail. On the cover, and featured inside, was Dita Von Teese herself. The queen of the modern burlesque with a historical flare.
She totally FASCINATES me for some reason. Perhaps it is because she is two years younger then me and from the great state of Michigan or perhaps it is because she evokes that pin-up 1940s glamour so perfectly or perhaps it is because she actually married Marilyn Manson. (Her real name is Heather Sweet and his real name is Brian Warner, how normal sounding is that???)
Anyway, despite the poor choice of marrying one of the creepiest and ugliest men on the planet I have to say that my respect for her holds true because in a custody battle, she won the cats.
And she drinks absinthe.
And she is a collector of vintage china, particularly eggcups and tea sets.
And she drives a 1939 Chrysler New Yorker.
Kickin.
Here is Heather Sweet in her early days:
Clearly being natural looses the whole vintage point, but damn, you gotta love a chick who participates in skeet shooting, archery and falconry no matter what she looks like.
